Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
