I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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