Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
