I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
home. puking in laundry basket.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
