im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
