just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
