it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
