On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize