Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
