Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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