it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
