i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
