i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
