Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
