Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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