why didn't you poke me back
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You don't make any sense
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