I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
