just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
