proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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