i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
50% drunk capacity currently
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize