The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
