You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
