I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
