Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
now i know why i became what i already was.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize