U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just found puke in my bra..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
