too bad you live with your parents still
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
