with your own penis?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she peed on how many people?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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