U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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