I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
