There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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