And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
