Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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