I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
