yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize