Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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