let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
