Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
