He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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