So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize