so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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