i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize