I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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