I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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