There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We got so high we made milksteak
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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