I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
