Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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