PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
