i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize