I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
