I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
