Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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