STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
