I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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