there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My vagina is officially offended.
My dick has a subreddit
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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