ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
