SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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