i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
