I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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