someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Come see our sink grown plant.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
