And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize