You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
