Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
