please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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