when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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