My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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