omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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