just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
