do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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