Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
